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From the positive pregnancy test, the first kick to when you have a newborn snuggled on your chest, you are bonding and creating a love like no other. A bond is something that grows and ebbs and flows. Some parents feel an instant love before they’re earthside, some when they hold their baby for the first time and some take a little while and that’s ok! Studies have found that 20% of parents don’t feel a real emotional attachment in the hours after birth. Sometimes it can take days even months to feel the attachment and love every parent speaks of. If you are still on the path to bonding with your baby, don’t feel guilty or anxious, it will come in time.
You are your baby’s safe place, their home, their comfort. They love and feel connected to you and remember that bonding happens in many ways!
Having your newborn's skin against yours is a beautiful way to bond, be still and sit in the newborn bubble. Skin-to-skin contact creates a release of oxytocin while warming up the mother's body to comfort and soothe baby which reduces crying and helps regulate baby's heart rate.
For some parents, it just feels weird to suddenly have this new little person around. Even though babies can’t talk, they’re great listeners. Talk to your new baby in soothing tones and narrate what’s going on in the world around them.
Your baby loves you from the beginning and will show it by lovingly gazing up at staring at you. Soon, you’ll get some smiles too. And then giggles! Making eye contact when feeding in an excellent time to do so and continue growing your bond together.
Babies love music because of the way the sounds rhythmically rise up and down. Play your favourite music for your newborn baby whenever you and sing along. Perhaps when it’s time for rest, choose something more mellow and soothing to help them drift of to sleep.
You can help baby relax by gently massaging that baby lotion into tender feet and limbs after a bath. Keep watch on those eyes…you’ll see how much baby adores all this time with you!
OK, maybe you shouldn’t do this after a nappy explosion... but after bath time, take a sniff of the top of your baby’s head. Every baby has a special, delightful smell so soak in that heavenly scent.
Spend time holding baby and rocking them as they drifts to sleep in your arms. These precious moments are fleeting and won’t last forever and are often the memories that will bring tears to your eyes when they're bigger and running amok around the house.
Tired of giving your baby a running play-by-play of everything in the house? Try reading a book. You’ll give your little one a love of reading early on and if you can manage to create voices for all the characters, you’ll have one very entertained baby!
As you recover and gain confidence, you can start to venture out of the house with your little one when you feel ready. Perhaps, start with a gentle walk to the coffee shop or the park and in time, work your way up to the beach or zoo. Memories created together with help strengthen your bond.
This is particularly helpful if you can’t quite determine why your baby is crying. Make funny faces by sticking out your tongue, wiggling your eyebrows, or even pulling out go-to 'peek-a-boo'! Babies have a short attention span and using that art of distraction to get a laugh will come in handy. Plus, nothing helps you feel better yourself than a good laugh. Well, unless it’s sleep, that is, which all new parents could do with some more of!
Don’t forget that time builds all bonds. Whether you feel it instantly or takes it some time, using these tips to bond with baby will help form a connection for you, baby, and the whole family!
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